sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
