just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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