why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
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