I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Randomize
