hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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