standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Randomize
