This girl is more easily done than said...
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
not ubering you a puppy
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Randomize
