the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Randomize
