BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Randomize
