you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
