In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Randomize
