it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Randomize
