I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
You ruined the universe
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
