Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
