Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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