It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
So squirting runs in the family.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
