Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
She even gives head with a lisp.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
