Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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