Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
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