that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Randomize
