Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
