Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Randomize
