my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
PANTIES FOUND
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