I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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