is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
