we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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