last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
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