love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
