i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
