Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
