He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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