im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Randomize