but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
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