so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize
