In America we eat man semen.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
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