She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
