If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
