so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
