this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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