i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
