it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I think I just sharted jello shots
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
