If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
