He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
I'm having to shit out rocks
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
