Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
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