She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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