Where did you get a picture of my penis
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
