Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Randomize