She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
