I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Randomize
