i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Randomize
