no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Randomize
