does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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