You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Randomize
