we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
