I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Randomize
