why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Randomize
