Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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