you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
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