How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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