whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
If I had your ass I would rule the world
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize