so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
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