I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize